The Nigerian Police

This is the Nigerian Police as we interact on a day-to-day basis in my area:

Police: Hey boy ! identify your self?

Boy : well i’m Ibrahim and i am a UNILAG student

Police: Wey your I.D Card?

Boy: I be fresher naw dem neva give us

Police: Fresh wetin? #edondeymadt abi?

Boy: I just start

Police: So you don press laptop chop oyinbo money finish now u dey lie say na student you be.

Boy: Oga no be so ooo

Police: Wetin dey inside your bag?

Boy: Na my laptop and books

Police: Where you see money buy laptop and this your watch and chain sef?

Boy: Na my mama buy am o..

Police2: Shuo! no be this boy dem dey call arabmoney for shomolu?

Police; Arab what?!!? Good, you are under arrest !

Boy: why na? Police : for prohibition !

Boy : ‘WHAT’ ? Police ; you exhibit too much swaggz plus you be yahoo boy

Boy: Oga no be so naw

Police: c’mon sharrap and enter motor!

Boy : *laughs* oga I understand you,oya manage this N2000

Police: Add something my oga*DPO* dey motor so and him go take him share

Boy: O.C I swear na N500 extra i get here..i be your boy naw we dey area.

Police: You these yahoo boys ehn…una no dey like show for station come greet us

Boy: No vex my oga just manage this N2,500

Police : you get mouth !..I go dey expect you o!

Boy: No wahala Oga mi #OKbye

Morals: The Police is your friend. Just settle dem. 🙂


To Smash Or NOT To Smash(Laptop)

So i’m sitting here now thinking: Is my phone and Lappy good for me? I mean is the friggin internet good for me? 3years i’v been married to the internet i even worked as a hotspot manager before running for my dear life due to police wahala. Now its time to break-up with the Internet and i don’t think i can do it 😦 Been giving myself reasons not to; You can do your assignment online…at least get tips n all.

But serzly do i do assignments online? anything productive? Nah! I’m the only internet user in my area i know who yahoo boys are pissed at lol “they be like wtf! you stay online all day..i sign in and you on facebook 24/7 you no dey sleep? wait first! where all ya maga? how many messenger you get? where you format dey? You no dey do? sh*t guy you dey dull o! ” If only they knew i’m on twitter sayn bull..ish 24/7. *rewind* ok ok i know…you’d be thinking “who is this guy fooling? you wan tell me say u no be runs guy? where the arabmoney come from then?” #JambKweshion!

Where was i sef? ehen yes iTweet,Facebook,qeep,prodigits,chats,nairaland and few other fun fun fun is all i ever do online. My head is now a cinema! Any new track i got it free,download movies 24/7 even found ways to cheat my ISP*NOT feelin guilty bout that one sha* they can like to kiss viper! I mean na me be pirate,badtguy and hip one. sumtyms my good spirit be like; IS THIS WHY YOU ARE HERE? ogbeni fiyenle! Boys Are Not Smiling these days again!


Yes its school time,time for a Re-Birth. But shey i fit born again sha? Leave old things and come out clean? I dont smoke n i’m a 20% drinker so the internet has been my only addiction(apart from sex,suya,money,junk food,supras and a million others) 😛 When there is no light i make sure the generator is fueled and when gen spoil(due to excessive use) or no money for fuel.This is how it is:

1: Stay online on phone(samsung batteries na 30min e don off!) I swear i have 4 batteries and 2 don spoil sef,computer village people na thunder go fire una sha!

2: After phone battery goes off i turn on lapotop which is new n battery stays for between 80-100minutes. Within that time i plug in my USB and charge phone again. Continue my ventures online chattin up chics on fb or making peeps laugh on twitter or just complaining bout how my tweeps just bone my side.

3: Oh nooooooooo! Laptop is gonna hibernate in 3minutes 😦 wtf! its 100minutes already? shet! time flies o! (meanwhile i’v not brushed my teeth or had my bath..sometimes i pity chics who wake me up at home to say hi n stuffs) Not to worry…phones are charged. I plug in my ear-piece..enter playlist and scroll straight to ENI DURO ~ OLAMIDE …btw Samsung no be phone!…After jamming for bout 2hrs phone’s dead again. Now i check the time and its just 1pm *screams* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Just 1PM? o_O what am i gonna do? how am i gonna survive? No Internet? ok i need to get occupied….go out? where? no money for e-center chicks jor! Go see my pals? hmmm nope they’d just drag me around with them playing pranks and walking in the sun plus the smooching of girls at the canteen(which i like) nah! people complain i hardly get calls n i think its cos i used blackberry for bout a year n i didnt ask for phone numbers during that time i only ask for PIN and just chat away! hardly ever have a real conversation,i hardly even know d names of my neighbors. BTW #LIGHTUPNIGERIA!

5: while thinking these things i’v started feeling withdrawal syndrome ; Start experiencing mental hunger…you ever felt hungry as in food hungry when you so bored and you know it aint food you need? datz it! start eating bread lol thats the only thing i get tired of ooo..then i eat and i get tired of eating i keep the rest n after 5minutes i wanna eat again smh:( I start gettin restless like i need crack…shet this is the worst cos i turn on my dead fone hoping it got solar charged or sumfin. some people say i need to get a life but tell you have one?

6: SLEEP….wow feels like the perfect yeah just got that fix iv been looking for. I just sleep cos when off the internet i feel frustrated. Did i hear you say STUDY? lmao! I opened my physics notebook to revise and next thing i know i’m wakin up 4hours later. Thats a challenege for another day i still spelling sh*t right? i think so.lemme check…oh shet! I skipped (4) lmao! I guess y’all wont even notice. My reader count is low cos i def aint impressin the blogger community so i dont think anyone is reading this far anyway! Just saying stuffs off my mind so i dont get heavy traffic up there anymore.pjew feels good already.

So ermmm back to the issue To smash my laptop or not? I’v had a physics assignment for days and i’v not even touched it, its due for tomorrow and i’m here typing on my laptop listening to music and tweetin nsh*t. Now is there a reason i shouldn’t smash it? Me neither..i dont think so. Its prayers that will get me through school cos i cant do it on my own o! Girls in school are so sexy and so plenty its like a blessing in lecture halls 😀 Maybe when i get my bicycle i’d ask them to Holla at your boi like whizkid lol


Oh oh! Dad is back and the music is so loud..Someborri please tell this physics assignment to stop staring me in the face o!  i’m just gonna look for where to copy from tomorrow…oh i got tutorials today by erm what time? lemme check ok 3pm. School is so boring and stressful…just gotta keep on practicing my freestylin maybe one day i’d hook up with M.I and get popular after one or 2 hit singles and i wont have to go through life in the hood 😀 …Damn i’m outta here! see y’all when i got time to say sh*t on here…Drop your comments below…dunno what y’all be commenting on buh “drop it like its hot” its a jonzing world! #OkBye



Hope you all been having better days than i have. School resumed on Monday and first day in school wasnt like i anticipated, everything was just strange and lectures didn’t start as scheduled. The experience has been so stressful and i’v come to understand the fact that School Life isn’t gonna be easy for the serious minded students.

Lots of challenges will be faced,parties and other distractions. I learnt the 1st year in school is the most crucial academic year because thats where you build up your G.P.  So far i realised i’d have to wake up as early as 5am everyday and get to school before 7am. I got to school 7:30am both Monday and Tuesday and this is what i saw: o_O

People got to class so early and it was impossible to get a seat in the front. So many people were standing and i was like wow! Its a struggle to get to class before the majority and secure a seat in front of the class where you get a clear view of the bard and get to hear the lecturer audibly. The alternative is to get binoculars and super Mission Impossible type spy audio equipments 🙂

I get to school 7:30am and leave 6pm tired and stressed after the trouble of locating lecture halls and the walks from one place to another,long queue for everything and the officials just piss me off  big-time! Seems they enjoy watching students suffer! This isnt the college i’v seen in American movies 😦 I guess i’v had unrealistic expectations.

The moment i get home i just fall into the chair and the next moment i’m taking a nap lol. I guess after the first few weeks i will adapt perfectly and find it less stressful. On the bright side I have met lots of people and few few i’v found unacceptable and others fun. The chics are HOT and i’m thinking damn! Its gonna be the best 5years of my life 😀 …*i have to study well and keep my grades up though*  …We were even given an assignment without lectures lmao!

Went to the Gym today to make inquiries and i’m still trynna figure out how to make my schedule to accommodate lectures,study and gym. I wanna get good grades and NOT look like a nerd 😀 I wanna go from this ~~~~>

Wanna leave the 3packs aka hunger packs lol to 6packs 😀

to Cristiano Ronaldo’s sexy six packs 😀 #NOHOMO 😛

I noticed it won’t be possible to update my blog daily as i planned but will try to update bi-weekly.:) I hope you all read and paste comments and share my blog. If you have stuffs you’d love to see on here you can suggest.

Got school stuffs to study right about now and i’m stopping here.See y’all on my next post 😀

Have a great day


25 Super Study Tips

  1. Be in Class.
  2. Don’t try skipping a class and then trying to catch up by reading the textbook. Teachers often highlight points they think will appear on a test or exam. You should pay special attention to the last five weeks in the semester because almost 50% of the course’s work will take place in the last part of the term.
  3. Understand your teacher.
    Find out your teacher’s testing format, marking scheme and expectations. You will get better grades by meeting the teacher’s standards.
  4. Set specific times to study.
    You should set a time when to review your notes so that you will be more obligied to review at that time. Reviewing your notes also helps you remember them through the principle of repetition.
  5. Study in the same place.
    When you study in the same place every time, your mind will automatically kick into gear when you sit in that place. Studying in one area also gives you a permanant place to keep all your supplies.
  6. Have short but often study periods.
    Having four short study pperiods a week are more effective than two long study periods because : (1) frequent repetition is the key to building your memory and, (2) long breaks between study periods may help you forget what you studied.
  7. Start study periods on time.
    Delays in your schedule will affect how you study. Try to train yourself to use every minute of your scheduled time.
  8. Obviously, study when you are awake.
    When you study during the day, , you are more likely to learn faster and retain the information longer. If during your study session you feel drowsy and are about to fall asleep, give in. It is better to learn the rest of the information in the morning than trying to stay awake and forgetting everything the next day.
  9. Set goals to accomplish in each subject.
    If you set a goal for a specific time period, you are more likely to accomplish more of it and faster. Don’t worry if you don’t reach you goal in your set amount of time, just reschedule or get back to it when you have time.
  10. Start assignments as soon as they are given.
    If you spread the workload out, the quality of your assignment will better. If the assignment is due near exam time, this will save valuble study time.
  11. Study your most difficult subjects first.
    You are most conscious when you first sit down to study, so you will be more capable of understanding the hard stuff. With the worst and yucky subjects out of the way, you won’t be tempted to spend long amounts of time on the easy subjects.
  12. Review!!
    Taking good notes and reviewing them is the main secret to understanding your subject. The best way to review is to read the information out loud. If you review at regular intervals, you will retain up to 80% in your long term memory.
  13. Take breaks.
    I usually take a 10 minute break every 50 minutes, though it may vary. Breaks help to refresh you, so don’t study through them.
  14. Reward Yourself.
    When you reach a goal, you feel on top of the world. Reward yourself (ie. magazine, snack, movie or TV show). Rewards give you incentive to reach your next goals!
  15. Finish Homework.
    If you don’t finish your work it will pile up. The more your work piles up, the harder it is to catch up. Finishing homework also gives you confidence that you can finish what you start.

The list makes studying seem hard, but it turns easier once you get used to it. Now, If you have said any of the following quotations in the past, fear no longer for there are answers!! coming now in a web page near you . . .

“I can’t concentrate!”
Thinking about your date Saturday night?? Don’t worry. All you need are a few approved concentration techniques.

  1. Switch subjects frequently. If you have a short attention span or is easily bored, switch the subjects you are studying frequently. Having variety helps ward off boredom.
  2. Avoid Distractions. Tell your family you don not want to be disturbed or study in a room away from usual distractions (TV, phone calls, nearby conservations).
  3. Sleep well! If you don’t get enough sleep, you will be less able to concentrate. Most people need 7-9 hours of sleep to function normaly.
  4. Sit in front of a blank wall. If you’re sitting in front of posters or windows you will more likely to be distracted. The less your surroundings distract you, the better you will concentrate.

“I just can’t remember!”
Trying to remember a text book for an upcoming test is hard, especially if you don’t know what you’re doing. Try and improve your memory with these memory techniques.

  1. Reduce information to key facts If you do this, you will have less to remember! Practice, and you will learn to take only important facts!
  2. Repetition. The fastest way to transfer information from short term to long term memory is to reherse often and out loud.
  3. Have good Attitude! When you like what you learn, remembering will be easier. If you can turn course material into personal interest, the information will be kept longer in your memory.
  4. Find Patterns. Remembering items or lists is difficult unless you find patterns.
    . . .ie. The number 123456 can be split into: odd-1,3,5 and even-2,4,6.
  5. Rhymes Rhymes are hard to forget. Try rhyming small details that you find hard to remember.
    . . .ie.“In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.”
  6. Acronyms. This is a good study tool but don’t spend too much time trying to invent them.
    . . .ie.The Great Lakes – HOMES (Huron, Ontario, Micigan, Erie, Superior)
  7. Have good Attitude! When you like what you learn, remembering will be easier. If you can turn course material into personal interest, the information will be kept longer in your memory.

I hope these tips help you get your grades up :).

Credit: This blog was taken from

Study The Right Way

A Student of the University of British Columbi...



In my last post ( ) i talked about study tips and resources to get you in the right frame of mind and path to your ultimate academic goal. Here are a few study tips to help you get the required result:


Determination: Be determined. No study material comes with the package of motivation.  Textbooks are so boring that i searched for video tutorials then i discovered anything that has to do with studying is automatically redirected to that part of the brain that screams BORING!!!. I wish i knew how to fix that easily. Determination is the KEY TO SUCCESS. No matter how tiring and boring conclude in your heart you wanna get this done and JUST DO IT!


Be Inspired: Inspiration goes a long way in preparing your mind for the task ahead. So many things inspire us to do greatness. A friend’s failure,A brother’s success,That guy in school getting all the chics cos he helps them with their home-work :). Go discover what inspires you today!


Choose right study material: Another essential part to studying effectively is getting the right study materials. You can’t get materials for Geography and say you wanna study for medicine can you? lol :D. Get the right books for your course,ask your lecturer for recommendations and get them.


Get A Comfortable Environment: Get somewhere quiet and free from distractions with good chair with great back support so you dont strain your neck and back. NOTE: Do not get too comfortable and sleep off oooo! 😀


Allot 2 – 3 hours exclusively to STUDY: Getting the right materials is the first and easiest step. Now  get your hands in the mud and say #ImGoingIn :). Actually set 2-3hours to study,not read. Studying requires a greater level of concentration to assimilate and be able to reproduce what you just read.


Turn off TV/Cell phone: To be honest, I hate this part! 😦 No TV? No phone calls? What if aliens are invading earth and my friends wanna inform me? Or my favorite brand of chocolate is about to go out of stocks?…Yeah its hard but its neccessary(i still battle with this though :D). Like i said earlier Studying is different from Reading. That concentration needs to be maximized. So go ahead turn the phone off and watch time fly while the book engulfs you into the realm of Einstein 🙂


Give yourself a treat: I know studying is boring yup it iz! After 3hours of blah blah blah c’mon lets have some fun! Go swim or hang out with the crew 😀 Afterall they say all work and no play make Arab a Nerd. I dont mind being a nerd though but for d next 5years? No sir! 😀 I got chics to play with booze to drown in and parties to rock :D. I wanna sing “I LOVE COLLEGE ” like Asher Roth too 🙂


I hope y’all find these tips helpful cos i do. Good luck on your Academic Endeavors! God Bless Us 😀



E-Learning Resources

Students taking a test at the University of Vi...

Image via Wikipedia

Hello Readers,

While going through my department’s “Notice-Board” at school today i saw the examination results of 100L students and the few students who didn’t do well in their course and have been advised to to withdraw.(Got kicked out!!!)

That really scared the sh*t outta me :(. I wondered how it would feel after the celebration upon gaining admission into the University and after the first session a person gets kicked out. Cant even begin to imagine the shame,disgrace and disappointment the student and parents will feel. Yes it must have been the student’s fault,maybe they don’t attend lectures,take notes,do assignments or even participate in class. Or they just didn’t have access to resources to aid them in their studies or had the wrong approach to studying.

I am a student too and wouldn’t want to go down the same path,determined to be a success against all odds and thats part of the reason i decided to start blogging. I know soon enough i’d get this blog more interactive with YOUR HELP!(Retweets,Mentions and recommendations) and i’d be able to ask questions and get real-time answers and solutions to issues.

I have searched the internet for “Study Tips & Resources” to guide students through the path to academic excellence. I will post my findings on my next post.(Research Still In Progress)

Now we can help students all over the world struggling to get good grades but have nobody to point them in the right direction, I want you all to post “STUDY TIPS” that aid your study and Websites textbooks and other study materials can be read online or downloaded for offline study. Its as simple as that!

Just these 2 things you do can change the life of a youth out there :)…Think about it.

1. Tell us how you study,what aids you while you study. Basically best way to assimilate and not give in to distractions.

2. Paste links to websites with useful resources you would recommend.(Online studies)

Post comments below.

Wish you all a great weekend 😀

Thank You


Welcome To Lagos!!!

Hello Readers,

Hope y’all having a great day cos i am :). As y’all must have figured out; This blog was created solely to blog about my school life as a Fresher when school gets in session. But before then, wouldn’t be a bad idea to have y’all get to know me (will update my “ABOUT” page soon) and where i’m from would it? So today i’m blogging bout  The city of Lagos,Nigeria. I grew up here and i school here,basically i have lived all of my life here and i’m just gonna talk about a few stuffs i know about Lagos. If you want to know more like demographics,Geographic info,History n sturvz click here cos i ain’t going into all that.

Will be talking about: Little of “About” ..ish,The People,Schools,Food,Fun Spots and NightLife(My Favorite). Here goes:

“About n..ish!”

Lagos is a port and the most populous conurbation in Nigeria. It is currently the second most populous city in Africa after Cairo,Egypt and is estimated to be the fastest growing city in Africa (UN-HABITAT, 2008) and the seventh fastest growing in the world.The city is the economic and financial capital of Nigeria. It is in the South-Western part of the country.

With a population of over 8Million and counting being the most populous State in Nigeria no be small thing o! lol. The city is peaceful and like any other city has the rural and urban areas. I’d like to call my neighborhood the #UrbanGhetto  cos it aint that bad 🙂

Lagos is the capital of Nigeria in so many ways other than FEDERAL CAPITAL TERRITORY ABUJA(Capital of Nigeria). Its the capital of Nigerian Fashion,Entertainment,Business and all sorts. People from every part of the Country Troop into Lagos to search for greener pastures.Hence the Dense Population.

Everything in Lagos is extreme. When it rains it really rains! When its sunny its really hot! and hustle is at its best here.They say “if you can make it in Lagos you can make it anywhere” 😀

The People”

Ok this is gonna be quick. Lagos residents are one in a million. #Gbam! You just know someone is from Lagos when you see their dressing,hairstyle and the way they behave. Swagger un-flawed lol. The people are friendly and love to show off :D..Yeah! is it bad to flaunt it if you got it? NO!

Lagos is like a mini-Nigeria. Cos here we have everybody here from every nook and cranny of the country.  The main language in Lagos is Yoruba. But you get people from diff parts of the country here with the diverse culture and Language. Communication and Business is facilitated easily between people of different tribes  because we have a General Language in Nigeria which is spoken by everyone in the country. Pidgin English is like our own version of the English Language.


In Lagos there are so many schools from Kindergarten to Universities,Colleges of Education,Polytechnics,Technical Schools and more. Some examinations are required to be passed before you can be accepted in these schools though. The schools here are of the best standards and I’m a proud student of the proverbial “BEST OF THE BEST UNIVERSITY IN NIGERIA” the University of Lagos(UNILAG) 🙂


Like i said in the “People” paragraph, There are people with diverse cultures here and different varieties of food.Which is why i love Lagos the most 🙂

We have countless delicacies here and i’d just mention a want more? google it lol. We have Eba,Fufu,Pounded Yam,Starch,Amala,Wheat among others and we have hulalacious soups that go with the *Okele* i just mentioned: Egusi,Oha,Ogbona,Ewedu,Efo Riro and more 🙂

“Fun Spots”

Lagos is the home of fun,Investors troop in to invest in pleasure spots here because Lagosians love to party and have a good time. Besides why go all throught the hustle if you ain’t gonna spend your money and live large perse(y) lol

We have shopping malls with Cinemas in them,Beaches,Amusement parks,Swim pools,Casino,Bowling Alley,Fast food outlets, Gymnasia’s,hotels and more everywhere. For pleasure Lagos is the place. Examples of Places you can visit in Lagos: Silverbird Galleria,Shoprite,E-Centre,EKO Hotel amongst others.

“Night Life”

The most interesting time in Lagos by far is the Night. Lagos is the city that never sleeps! Clubs everywhere in every corner. My favorite though is the strip clubs(Sue me)

Its better experienced than blogged. Mad Dj’s and clubs open 24hours 7Days a week..Its fun fun fun! Regardless of your financial status there is always a place for you in Lagos.

Hmmm i dunno if this is supposed to be Captivating, Entertaining n tell me :). Just giving you a peep into my environment 🙂 What do you think?